angel13666 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} angel13666) wrote,@ 2008-09-16 23:06:00 |
|
new way to journal
Ok this is an odd way to do journal. lol.I have food on so I need to keep remembering that. hum can't see what i have typed there is a way to be sure i don't read back. lol.
the kitchen being apart bugs me much. it reminds me of moving which has always been about change and i don't do well with change . now that is something coming from a multiple. i enjoyed reading thesites on mpd i know you said last night why would i do that. was it a waste of time . i have to ask you my Lord if you were not sure of things about yourself would you not from time to time just want to try and find something to make you feel you were ok. i gues sometiems i look to find something that says i am ok. sometimes it is even to hear other systems who have problems and i can then say i am ok cause we do bettdr than that. sometimes it is to see that others have had the same things happen to them so i don't have to think i am odd. so in a way when you see me doing that it is like i am trying to touch base with what i am. i need sometimes to know i am not the only one still. as if the whole world got singel and i am the only one left. is nuts i guess but is how it is.
Bear has asked to talk to all of us sometimes this week she sent a memo stating she needed to talk to us about something at the next blue room meeting. which i hear is to be sometimes this week. is to be some talk about how to handle the fact is more and omre of us needing space. i believe the store floor is going to be moved to 7th to make room. since for some reason 6th is not being moved. at least thatwill open up 7th floo and it says must not be anything there to important as it can bemoved. maybe some floors are just empty i don't know. i do wonder what bear wants to talk about. she is normally quite.
well we are on book 18 it should be fun, i hate that he uses words i can't read. i have a hard enough time reading normal words let alone that stuff he comes up with.
my neck and shoulder are still hurting. maybe it is stress i don't know. i just know i need the kitchen back to normal. even in there a few mins ago cooking it felt so odd. when we have moved i have rushed to be sure the basic rooms were normal. could be some odd thing in me from the past i don't know.
i am not sure how the format of this will come out as it looks odd here.
I wonder if most fw are not just ex abused women. maybe that is why they are as they are. coming from abuse could make one scared to get in a life that rides such a tight rope to abuse. she also might not trust her own judgment. i know i have a problem at times with trsuting my own judgement.
ok i am sending this and seeing how it comes out formated.
hugs i love you my Lord
love your slave girl angel
Ok this is an odd way to do journal. lol.I have food on so I need to keep remembering that. hum can't see what i have typed there is a way to be sure i don't read back. lol.
the kitchen being apart bugs me much. it reminds me of moving which has always been about change and i don't do well with change . now that is something coming from a multiple. i enjoyed reading thesites on mpd i know you said last night why would i do that. was it a waste of time . i have to ask you my Lord if you were not sure of things about yourself would you not from time to time just want to try and find something to make you feel you were ok. i gues sometiems i look to find something that says i am ok. sometimes it is even to hear other systems who have problems and i can then say i am ok cause we do bettdr than that. sometimes it is to see that others have had the same things happen to them so i don't have to think i am odd. so in a way when you see me doing that it is like i am trying to touch base with what i am. i need sometimes to know i am not the only one still. as if the whole world got singel and i am the only one left. is nuts i guess but is how it is.
Bear has asked to talk to all of us sometimes this week she sent a memo stating she needed to talk to us about something at the next blue room meeting. which i hear is to be sometimes this week. is to be some talk about how to handle the fact is more and omre of us needing space. i believe the store floor is going to be moved to 7th to make room. since for some reason 6th is not being moved. at least thatwill open up 7th floo and it says must not be anything there to important as it can bemoved. maybe some floors are just empty i don't know. i do wonder what bear wants to talk about. she is normally quite.
well we are on book 18 it should be fun, i hate that he uses words i can't read. i have a hard enough time reading normal words let alone that stuff he comes up with.
my neck and shoulder are still hurting. maybe it is stress i don't know. i just know i need the kitchen back to normal. even in there a few mins ago cooking it felt so odd. when we have moved i have rushed to be sure the basic rooms were normal. could be some odd thing in me from the past i don't know.
i am not sure how the format of this will come out as it looks odd here.
I wonder if most fw are not just ex abused women. maybe that is why they are as they are. coming from abuse could make one scared to get in a life that rides such a tight rope to abuse. she also might not trust her own judgment. i know i have a problem at times with trsuting my own judgement.
ok i am sending this and seeing how it comes out formated.
hugs i love you my Lord
love your slave girl angel
